The side you don't see
by IcyMoonOnStage
Summary: The Sanders High School is a very small school. It's situated in a tiny, friendly town where everybody knows everybody, so it's quite hard to fit in when you're the new kid. Sander sides,main ship is Prinxiety(Roman x Virgil) with Logicality(Logan x Patton) Characters belong to Thomas Sanders Warnings:child abuse,insulting,swearing,panic attacks,nightmares,suicide,suicidal thoughts
1. Chapter 1

**THE SIDE YOU DON** **'T SEE**

SUMMARY:

The Sanders High School is a very small school. It's situated in a tiny, friendly town where everybody knows everybody, so it's quite hard to fit in when you're the new kid.

STORY:

Virgil walked the empty halls of his new school trying to find anybody who could tell him where the princible's office is. After a few minutes of walking he began, as usual, to overthink things. He started worrying about being late and making a bad first impression. Maybe the princible will expel him before he even started school. If that happened he couldn't bare to think how his father would react.

As he was thinking he absent-mindendly scratched the scar on his forearm that was covered by a dark, oversized hoodie. When he still didn't see anyone he walked to the bathroom to calm his nerves before he gets a panic attack in the middle of the school. Talk about a first impression.

The bathroom was, like the rest of the school, covered with colours, drawings and all kinds of patterns that, surprisingly, calmed his fast-beating heart. Looking around, he noticed the walls had no signs of vandalism, only a small, poorly-drawn snake in the corner. The school was so different than his last and even better in many ways. He hoped his classmates are better here, too, even though he knew not to hope too much.

Noticing the warm feeling of blood inside his sleeve, he realized he was still scratching his old scar. Quickly taking off his hoodie he grabbed a couple of tissues and put them on the now bleeding wound. Soon, the cut stopped bleeding and Virgil was left realizing that he is now really late. He put his black hoodie back on and checked himself in the mirror. What he saw disgusted him.

A pale boy was looking back at him with dark bags under his eyes and messy hair that spiked up in every way. He had a few cuts on his face and neck which he clumsily tried to cover up with his hood. But the worst things were the eyes. The dead, bloodshed eyes that have seen too much darkness and not enough light. The ugly, muddy, brown eyes that were too big for his body.

He snapped out of it and ran to the nurse's office where he asked for the directions.

.

As soon as the bell rang, Roman and his buddies stood up and ran away from the torure that was Chemistry class. Arriving to his locker, he said goodbye to his friends and unlocked his blood-red locker.

Before he could take out his books he heard whispering coming from his peers. Looking up, he saw the most beautiful boy he has ever seen. Wait, why hasn't he seen him before? He knows everybody in this school and he wouldn't forget a face like that. Noticing the boy's uneasiness with all the stares and his hunched shoulders, he decided that talking to him now wasn't such a good idea.

Suddenly their eyes met and the boy quickly ducked his head and blushed slightly. How cute can he be? Only then did he notice his best friends', Logan and Patton's, knowing looks.

.

Virgil's day wasn't going too good. When he stepped out of the princible's office with his schedule, he walked to his locker feeling eyes on him. Sinking into himself he speed-walked to the assigned purple locker. Still feeling that everybodywas watching him, he looked up and saw a cute boy looking back at him. Embarrassed, he looked down, feeling the heat on his cheeks.

After putting some books in the locker, he closed it and walked to his class with his head down and his hands in his pockets. The classroom was half empty so he sat down in the back. Pulling out his books and waiting for the class to start, Virgil found himself dreading the rest of the day.

.

Patton loved school! He loved seeking knowledge and hanging out with his best friends, especially his crush Logan. But most of all he loved making new friends so when he heard there's a new kid, he instantly wanted to get to know them. The first time he saw him was in the hallway and he couldn't really talk with him as the mysterious boy escaped before he could get a chance. But there was something that intrigued him that moment. And that was Roman.

Even though Roman was the most romantic person Patton knew, he didn't fall in love easily, as he thinks love should be reserved for the right people. But the look he gave the boy made him think that the boy might be one of those people.

When the boy ran away, he and Logan approached Roman with big knowing smiles.

"You like him!" Patton yelled excitedly, as Roman covered his mouth in an attempt to shut him up, blushing furiously. Now Patton knew this is serious because Roman _**never**_ blushes. He glanced at Logan who had a calculating face and he was sure Logan was thinking the exact same thing.

"Must you be so loud?" Roman whispered, while looking around to see if anyone heard.

"You like him!" Patton repeated, this time quieter, but still with an excited tone.

"What-...no...I-I don't even know him...how could-no..."Roman stuttered out, blushing even more

"Really? Well, that's not what your face is showing us,"Logan interjected with a sly grin," or maybe I'm wrong and you look at everyone with the same hearteyes." he added sarcastically.

"Seriously, Logan, you too?" Roman said giving up. "Uh, fine. I mean he's cute, but I haven't even talked to him yet. He could be arrogant, selfish, an asshole, or worst of all-" he took a dramatic pause "-he might not like Disney movies!"

Logan rolled his eyes at his best friend's dramatics and together they walked towards their next class.

.

Opening the rusty old door, Virgil walked into his small apartment checking if his dad's there. A couple years ago, he would have gone straight to his mother so his father doesn't notice him, but since the day his mother decided she couldn't take it anymore, it was just him and his father.

Feeling the smell of alchohol in the air, Virgil deduced that his father's home. Quietly, he walked to his room but before he could reach the door he heard his father's loud voice.

"Virgil, is that you, boy?"

Virgil stopped and walked back to the living room where he found his father with, what was probably, his fifth beer bottle that day.

"H-hi, dad" he said weakly.

"Oh, now you say hi! You couldn't come here right away, could you? No, no you're too important for me." Virgil quietly listened to his father's drunken rant,thinking if he could just somehow walk away now, he could go to his room and lock himself there. Unfortunately, his father had other plans.

"Are you even listening to me, you stupid boy? How self-centered can you be?" Virgil didn't even notice that his father got up until a strong punch directed to his stomach made him double over in pain. He knew it wasn't over. Sure enough, a punch followed, then another, and another.

There were black spots creating in the corners of his vision. He tried lasting a bit longer, but knew that his efforts were meaningless. Giving up, Virgil welcomed the already familiar darkness with a speck of relief.

.

Virgil woke up on the floor with dried blood around him. It took him a minute to realize what happened, but when he did, he slowly got up and limped to the medical cabinet that was always close on case he needed it. The cabinet wasn't full but it did have some useful stuff. He took the bandages and the dezinfection alchohol with his bloodied hands and closed it, purposely ignoring any mirrors.

He tapped some alchohol on his busted lip and the cut on his forehead. Knowing from past experiences that the area around his eye will bruise, he decided that he's going to put more black eyeshadow to hide it. After he was done inspecting his face, he walked, wincing with every step, to the bathroom where he took off his clothes.

Virgil walked into the tub and washed away the blood. By the pain he deduced he had at least one broken rib, a sprained ankle, a dislocated shoulder and some new cuts and bruises. Well, he had worse before.

.

Roman couldn't stop thinking about the new kid whose name he still didn't know. All his notebooks had at least two sketches of him or a poem about his eyes that were stuck in his mind since he saw him. What could he say. He was in love! Of course before he could make a move, they had to be at least friends. Noticing the time, he grabbed his books from the locker and rushed to his next class so he wasn't late.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice that the kid didn't come to school today, When Patton mentioned it he became worried, even though he doesn't know him well, so he asked around. Nobody knew where the new kid was.

.

After showering, Virgil put on his clothes and summoned the courage to look at himself in the filthy mirror. As soon as he did that he regreted it. There was a huge black bruise on his eye and some old cuts but other than that there were no visible clues of what happened last night.

Only then did he notice that he didn't go to school. He panicked knowing that if his father finds out he'll be pissed. After some time, Virgil stepped out of the bathroom tensing after he saw his father's lying figure. Fortunately, he was passed out so Virgil could do his homework without interruptions.

.

 _A boy with big, innocent eyes was sitting on the floor with his back against the door. There were loud noises outside that were terryfing the small boy. His eyes were shining with unshed tears and deep, unbearable pain. The noises were becoming louder and closer until the boy couldn't take it anymore. He took his Walkman and played the first song on the list. Soon enough, the lyrics started filling his brain and he let himself relax a bit. The calm lasted until there was a loud crash outside._

 _The boy jumped and rushed to the source ignoring the warnings his mother gave him earlier. Passing through the hallway he felt more scared than ever before. The fear only increased as he saw the broken plates and glasses on the floor. The boy kept walking until he found the source of the noise. And the scene he saw stopped him dead on his feet._

 _A man, with all his power and strength, was standing over an unconscious woman, radiating with rage. But the state of the woman was what scared the boy. At the man's feet, she was standing curled up, a bloodied mess, trying to make herself as small as possible._

 _The man's head snapped up when he felt another presence in the room and his rage-filled eyes focused on the boy, like a lion targeting his prey before striking. The pure fear and shock made the boy paralyzed so he just stood there and waited until the inevitable happened._

 _Until the lion attacks._

 _"What the hell do you think you're doing?"_

 _The man's voice startled him enough to talk._

 _"It was - I just heard a loud noise..." His gaze wandered to the woman's lying figure and the man's quickly followed._

 _"What did you do to her?" The boy's voice surprised even him. It was firm and commanding. The man didn't like that._

 _"That is none of your business, boy! Now go back to your room or there will be concequences..." His voice trailed of as he got closer to the shaking boy._

 _"N-no" The boy stuttered out. But, as it turned out, it was the wrong thing to say. The man slammed him to the wall, letting the pictures and the shelves fall on top of the boy. His hands pinned the scared kid to the wall making him unable to run._

 _"You think this will change anything? You think you can help her?"_

 _The man's fist collided with the boy's face and tears began to shine in his big, brown eyes. As the next punch came, the tears were already falling against the efforts to stop them._

 _"Are you crying, you little pussy? You're not two years old anymore, boy!" With that came another punch. This time to his stomach. Then again. And again. The tears were streaming down as the boy screamed his lungs out. Finally, after a blow to the head, the boy fell into the darkness._

 _When he woke up, the boy noticed two things. First, he was on the kitchen floor and second, he was in pain. Then he remembered what happened. He lied on the floor a bit more, his sobs filling the empty room. Empty?_

 _The boy got up, in spite of the pain, and limped out of the kitchen. With a lot of effort, he walked to a room but when he tried to open the door it wouldn't budge. It was locked. The boy had a terrible feeling as he tried to open it up with force in spite of the pain. Thankfully, the door was old and it opened after some pushes. He walked in but stopped when he saw a human silhouette inside. The boy hid behind a closet, afraid of the silhouette, but soon he noticed that whoever it was, wasn't moving just... spining? And why weren't their feet touching the ground? Is the rope around their neck stopping them? Then he realized who it was._

 _"MUM!"_

.

Virgil woke up with a terrified scream, tangled in blankets which were soaking in his sweat. He breathed heavily as his mind started clouding.

"Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream,..." he tried to calm himself back to sleep but it wasn't working. Knowing he wouldn't get more rest, Virgil shakily stood up to get a cup of coffee. He tiptoed to the kitchen. Then he remembered the nightmare. Slowly backing up, Virgil tried to fight the panic attack rising up but failed miserably.

He ran to his room and slid down the closed door as his mind darkened and the voices screamed at him because it was _his fault, his fault, his fault_ ,...

.

Logan was woken up by his mom's _**loud**_ cooking. With a groan, he got up, still half-asleep, and walked to the kitchen. First thing he heard, other than the banging of pots and plates, was his mom's humming. He felt himself relax in the familiar tune as he sat down and waited for his younger brother to wake up.

When the little monster sat down, they all ate their breakfast in silence. Then, one by one, they packed their things and, with a hug, left for school. Or in his mom's case, for work. Logan was the last to go so he locked the door and hid the key under a plastic leaf. Knowing Rooman would be late, Logan first went to pick up Patton so they could wait for Roman together. It had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to spend more time alone with Patton. Nope, just thinking logically.

He walked to a big house and rang the doorbell. Soon, running footsteps could be heard before the door was opened by an adorable little girl with two pigtails who Logan recognized as Maria, Patton's younger sister.

"Logan! Mom, Patton's boyfriend's here!" Her face lit up when she saw the blushing mess Logan became after her statement.

"Maria, stop making Logan uncomfortable for your own amusement."

A woman gently pushed Maria out of the way, trying, and failing, to hide her smirk.

"H-hello, Mrs Katy, is Patton ready?" Logan managed to say after a bit of gaping and stuttering.

"I told you, forget the Mrs, just call me Katy," she pulled Logan in and closed the door,"Patton is getting ready, he'll be down here any second. You just make yourself at home."

Listening to Katy, he sat on the edge of a couch feeling quite uncomfortable with the whole is, he felt uncomfortable until he saw Patton coming down the stairs. He was wearing trousers and a light blue shirt with a cardigan tied around his shoulders. Logan also noticed how the glasses bring out his blue eyes. Those blue eyes he often dreamt about. Those blue eyes that he found himself thinking about so many times. Those blue eyes which were currently looking at him with worry. Wait...

"-gan, you okay?" Patton's voice brought him to reality and Logan noticed that he's been calling him for a while now.

"Yes, I'm good, just got a little lost in my thoughts." He felt his face heating up as he coughed awkwardly "Shall we?"

Patton's eyes were still full with worry but, knowing Logan wouldn't talk about it, he dropped the subject. M-Katy and her wife, Sarah, both hugged Patton and exchanged their goodbyes. While the heartwarming scene was folding out, Logan was adoringly gazing at his best friend. His gazing was interrupted by a knowing smile and a "go get him, tiger" from Maria

 _._

 _Where the freak are they?_

Roman usually went to school with his two best friends Patton and Logan, but right now those two lovebirds were late! And, for the first time, Roman was not.

"Roman!"

 _Speak of the devil._

Roman turned to see Logan and Patton running towards him with shocked faces.

"Since when do you come on time?" The nerd of the herd, as Roman liked to call him, was quite alarmed to know that, for once, he was late. And he is never late!

"Since when do you come late?" Roman deadpanned.

"Okay, yeah, we had that coming!" Patton interjected before a fight started and the one last week was quite enough, thank you very much. He decided to change the topic, "Say, kiddos, have you heard anything about the new kid?"


	2. Chapter 2

Fuck his life. Seriously. All Virgil wanted was to have a peaceful day with no complications. But, no. Life couldn't throw him a bone for once.

He was packing his stuff for school when he heard a loud crash. Realizing his father woke up, Virgil hurried up. Finishing his packing and throwing on a tattered jacket, he quietly walked to the front door. Before he could leave he felt a big hand on his shoulder that stopped him. His whole body stilled as he felt his father's breath on his neck.

"Where do you think you're going?" He slurred.

 _'Great. He's drunk.'_

"School, dad." Virgil was proud of himself for keeping his voice so calm given the fact that he was scared shitless.

"Without saying goodbye? I thought I raised you better."

 _'No, you really didn't.'_

"I'm sorry, I forgot."

Virgil was trying to not worsen the alredy dangerous situation, so he doesn't come late. Again.

Thankfully, his dad wasn't drunk enough. He released the grip he had on his son and walked away with a muttered "not worth my time".

Virgil ran to school and, because the universe hated him, it started raining. When he finally arrived, he was wet from head to toe, but he wasn't late. Small wins. Of course that meant more people would see him wet and bruised.

He walked to the bathroom with his hood over his head, trying to fit in the crowd so less people payed attention to him. On the way, he noticed some kids giving him weird looks which made him even more self conscius.

He finally got to the bathrom, which was, fortunately, empty. His eyeshadow was ruined because of the rain and some bruises could be seen from last night. Virgil put his old backpack on the floor and removed the ruined makeup with some water and toilet paper. He didn't notice a figure approaching until he was finished with applying the eyeshadow.

"Damn, what happened to you?"

Virgil jumped and turned like a scared cat. He breathed heavily as the figure apologized.

"Wow, hi! Sorry if I frightened you," the boy seemed genuinely sorry, "My name's Roman."

 _'He's cute'_

Virgil had to take a few seconds before he could speak.

"Hi" His voice was still shaky.

Roman was wearing jeans, a red t-shirt and a white jacket. He had short brown hair and his eyes were brown, but not like Virgil's. His were lighter. Softer.

"And may I ask for your name?"

"I'm-uh-Virgil." Virgil internally cringed at his own dumb name.

Roman smiled and extended his arm for Virgil to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Virgil"

.

The first thing Roman thought when he entered the school was 'finally', which was unusual since that's usually his first thought when he walks out of the school. But, because today wasn't Roman's day, Logan was chatty. And when Logan talks, he doesn't stop. Unfortunately, unlike Roman, Logan doesn't talk about interesting things, he talks about school. Specifically, the big test that Logan and Patton had- Roman was a year older so they didn't have the same classes.

"-ll living organisms are made up of one or more cells, which are considered the fundamental units of life. And even unicellular organisms are complex!"

 _'Fascinating'_

"Atoms make up molecules, which then make up cell organelles and struc-"

Roman tuned out Logan's smarty talk in an attempt to make the walk to school a bit less boring. It didn't work. It was not that he didn't like the smart boy, quite the opposite, he was one of his closest friends ever and his best friend (with Patton, of course). They just had different interests which sometimes contradicted each other. Well, usually contradicted each other.

Of course, the fact that Patton was listening to Logan and actually offering some inputs wasn't helping him in changing the topic. He was really starting to feel like a dumb third wheel which wasn't good for his already low self esteem.

So yeah, finally.

"Guys, I'm gonna go 'water the flowers', you just go on and I'll meet you later." Roman interrupted whatever Logan was talking about at the moment which earned him an annoyed look from Logan and a small amused smile from Patton.

He walked away before he could get scolded for his behaviour and soon reached the blue bathroom doors. He opened it but stopped when he saw the new kid by the sinks. His breath hitched when he saw that the boy had a black eye which he was currently trying to cover up with black eyeshadow. Was that why he wears it? To cover bruises?

"Damn, what happened to you?" Roman blurted out before he could stop himself. He realized that was the wrong thing to say when the boy jumped and turned to look at him with panic and fear in his eyes. Oops.

"Wow, hi! Sorry if I frightened you," Roman backtracked to calm him down a bit "My name's Roman."

The boy seemed really frightened but was starting to relax and after a few moments he spoke.

"Hi" His voice was still a little shaky but it was the most beautiful thing he ever heard and Roman found himself wishing he could listen to him all day.

"And may I ask for your name?"

"I'm-uh-Virgil"

 _'Virgil, ha? Nice'_

Roman extended his arm. "Nice to meet you, Virgil!"

They shook hands and Roman could swear he felt a spark when they touched.

"So, let me guess," Roman pointed to the black eye that was now covered, "I should see the other guy?"

Virgil was confused until he realized that Roman must have seen the bruise. He felt panic rise and he fought to push it back

"Actually, I just fell." He said in an unconvincing tone.

Roman furrowed his eyebrows. "And landed on a fist? I don't think that's how it works."

The younger boy did not like the direction the topic was going so he quickly muttered an excuse and ran away leaving a confused Roman behind.

Roman stood there a few seconds to figure out what just happened. That's when he saw a backpack on the floor where Virgil was a second ago.

Virgil's backpack.

He opened it without hesitation even though he knew it was a violation of privacy. He didn't quite care. He had to know what's going on with Virgil so they could be friends. Plus he was curious.

The backpack itself was old and tattered with some stains that were a few years old. The inside wasn't much better. There were some books and notebooks that were either crumpled up or straight up destroyed.

It all screamed poor.

At least now, Roman knew something about the boy. Maybe he lives in a bad neighbourhood and he got a bruise from an attack or something. Poor guy.

The bell ringed and Roman snapped out of his deductions and ran to Math class leaving Virgil's backpack in the bathroom so when the boy goes to look for it, he'll find it here. He just hopes noone will steal it.

.

 _'Why? Just why?'_

 _'Did I insult the universe in some ways and now it's getting its revenge?'_

 _'Why?'_

Those were the thought Virgil had when he entered the classroom and found that his backpack was nowhere to be seen.

Now, he could go to the bathroom to search for his backpack there or he could stay in class and not be late. That choice was taken from him when the professor walked in and demanded silence so Virgil sat in the back of the class with none of his books or his homework. Great.

Thankfully, he knew how to blend in the crowd so the professor hopefully won't notice his empty desk.

"Today we're doing Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet!" The teacher's cheerful- _too cheerful_ -voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Has anyone ever read it?"

VIrgil has. Of course he has, it's a classic but he most definitely will not be raising his hand and drawing attention to himself. No way.

Only two students raised their hands- a girl with braces and a long-haired boy wearing a plaid oversized shirt. A snicker and a coughed 'nerds' could be heard from the back of the class and Virgil was suddenly very glad he didn't raise his hand a moment ago.

"Anyone else? Anyone other than Sarah and Sam?" The professor's eyes were roaming over the class until they finally landed on Virgil, who was trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Oh I forgot that we have a new student in class." As soon as he said that, every single eye was on him in an instant and Virgil felt a blush forming. "How about you? Did you read the famous tale?"

Virgil's mind was racing with pros and cons of telling the truth as he fidgeted under everyone's impatient and irritated gazes- or at least he thought that they were impatient and irritated but he couldn't see them as his eyes were looking at his hands.

"Yeah, I did." Virgil answered, softly stumbling over his words.

He looked up, assuming that the teacher would be mad over the fact that he didn't join Sarah and Sam, but he just looked happy and beamed at Virgil.

"Great! Then this will be easy for you."

Virgil visibly relaxed.

.

Turns out, the class really was easy and Virgil found himself actually liking the teacher, which was unusual since he had a deep hatred for teachers in his last school.

He was quite relaxed until he remembered what made him anxious in the first place.

His backpack.

Virgil ran to the bathroom, where he last saw it, and relaxed when he noticed it was still there.

 _'Maybe the universe actually doesn't hate me with a passion.'_

The backpack was under the sink and when Virgil crouched he saw that it was opened. Weird.

He hoped nobody stole something from it but he didn't exactly have time to check as his next class was starting in a few minutes and he still doesn't know the location of all the classrooms. After closing his backpack, Virgil picked it up and tried to figure out where the Math classroom was.

.

Logan was revising for his Biology test when he crashed into something, or rather someone.

"Oh shi-" Logan stopped when he saw who he crashed into. The new kid who Roman was obsessing over was on the floor picking up his papers with an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry" The kid's movements were rushed, like he was trying to get away as soon as possible.

"It's okay, it wasn't really your fault." He helped pick up the papers and when they got up he offered his hand while struggling with his things in the other hand.

"I'm Logan."

The kid hesitantly shook his hand "Virgil."

"Oh, like the Roman poet!"

"Yeah" Virgil looked at him with a hint of surprise. "Most people don't know him."

"Well, I'm not most people." Logan said with a proud smile. "What's your next class?"

"Um, Math class, but I don't exactly know where it is..." He let his voice trail off as he lowered his head in embarrassment.

"I can show it to you, my class is in the same direction anyway." Logan offered.

They walked together in a comfortable silence until Logan interrupted it with a questiom.

"So, where did you come from, Virgil?

Virgil felt a little uncomfortable with talking about himself "I'm from New Orleans. Actually, a small town next to New Orleans."

"From Louisiana to Florida, ha?" Logan asked with raised eyebrows. "What made you move, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My, uh, father had a fight with a cousin or something like that, so he decided that the best course of action was not to make up, but to move." His voice got a bitter tone at the end but he quickly shook it off. "What about you? Were you here your entire life or...?"

Logan was a bit surprised how Virgil's voice could go from bitter to curious in a second. "I actually moved here when I was 5, after my father left us for another family." He didn't know why he was telling this to someone he doesn't even know but he was already in deep, so why not continue?

"Oh, I'm sorry." Virgil felt guilty for bringing the topic up

"No reason to be. Wasn't your fault." Logan stopped in front of a door decorated with lots of flowers, "This is your class."

Virgil thanked him and walked into the room which was already full with students. He found an empty seat next to a girl and waited for the class to start.

.

After the last period Virgil walked out of the school with relief. He was walking when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His mind immediately went to this morning and _his father's hand on his shoulder, his breath on his neck, smell of alchohol, oh God, danger, danger, danger-_

"-re you okay? Hey, it's okay." That- that's not his father's voice, "Are you okay?"

He looked up and saw a boy with blue eyes looking at him with concern and worry. _'Why would he worry about me?'_

He calmed his fast-beating heart and noticed that he was on the floor and trembling. _'Good job, Virgil.'_

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm good." He got up and brushed the dust off his pants as the kid still looked at him with a weird expression on his face.

"Okay, if you say so..." His voice was unsure but it quickly morphed into happy when he remembered why he was here in the first place. "You're the new kid, right? Virgil?"

Virgil paused. "How do you know my name?"

"My friends told me," He had a big smile on his face, "Logan and Roman."

 _'Oh.'_

"My name's Patton, by the way, and Logan, Roman and me were wondering if you would want to hang out with us sometimes?"

Patton looked so hopeful asking that and Virgil just didn't want to make him sad. Or at least that's what he was saying to himself as he answered:

"Um, sure."

"Great!"

He had a feeling that he just made an important decision that's gonna affect him later. Oh, well.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the week was uneventful in comparison to the beginning. His dad didn't notice him as much, except for a few small incidents, and the teachers still didn't hate him. He thinks.

He started sitting with the trio at lunch after Patton practically pushed him into the empty seat next to him and soon they became sort of friends. He still felt like the outsider but he figures that's normal since he knew them for a week and they've known each other since they were children. Plus, he's not exactly the most sociable person, especially with new people.

Patton and Logan were a year older than him while Roman was two. From what he saw, Patton was friends with almost the whole school and he was the father figure of the group. Logan, on the other hand, didn't have many friends apart from them. There's also something between the two of them, he thinks. He asked Roman once if they were dating but he just started laughing, so he took that as a no.

Speaking of Roman, he was apparently popular. He was in the football team yet still had decent grades. Not Logan's grades but also not failing grades. Virgil considered him quite charming with his kind hazel eyes and his flirty personality. In a platonic sense, of course.

His dad's job did not pay well so Virgil got a job. He started working as a waiter in a small restaurant next to the school which meant that a lot of the customers were students. It wasn't his dream job, but it did pay the bills. Another boy was working there, Remy. He was somehow always chill and relaxed. Until you mentioned Harry Potter, that is.

Everything was starting to improve and Virgil even dared to hope.

.

On Monday, Mrs. Martin told him that his dad needs to come sign some papers and check his grades since he was new and missed the initial parents' night. He mentally kicked himself for jinxing it.

His dad wasn't drunk when he picked up and even accepted to come with less annoyance than he expected.

When Virgil came home, he was dressed in a nice blue shirt and checking himself in the mirror.

It always amazed him how different his dad was when he was sober. He still wasn't a good parent but he wasn't as bad as when he was drunk. It happens rarely, but sometimes, if he was sober and in a good mood, they'd have normal family dinners, and his dad would ask him about school, his new friends, any girls he liked. They'd laugh and tease each other, without having to be careful about his choice of words, of how he looked at him. They'd be a normal family. At least for that moment.

He thanked his lucky stars that this was the mood his teachers would see his dad. He guesses they would be suspicious after the bruise he showed up with on his first week.

.

His dad came home an hour later. He didn't yell or throw stuff around, he just went to his bedroom to change out of his fancy clothes. But it didn't relax Virgil at all because he knew his dad. He knew that this was nothing more than the calm before the storm.

He was proven right when his dad sat next to him with a glass of whiskey. He just kept looking at the glass, twirling it around and around as the ice melted inside. With Virgil visibly shuddering beside him, he spoke, his voice devoid of any emotions.

"I met your Chemistry teacher."

That's not good. That's not good at all. Chemistry is one of those subjects that he's just not good at, no matter how many hours he pours into studying. Currently, his only grades are two C's and a D. He knew that was something his dad wouldn't be proud of.

"Aren't you going to ask what she said?" He stopped twirling his drink and looked directly into his son's eyes. "She said that you aren't trying hard enough. That your potential isn't fully explored and that I should push you as much as possible so you can improve."

He slammed his glass onto the table, chipping the edge of it and cutting his hand. Virgil watched as the blood flew from his palm into the yellowish, now brown, liquid.

He focused on the remaining ice as his dad slowly crept closer and closer until he appeared in his peripheral so he had to look back.

"Is that true, Virgil? Are you not trying enough?" He whispered, "Cause I can tell you this: I did not raise a slacker for a son. Not a slacker, not a dumbass, not a failure. You hear me, boy?"

The house was deadly silent, no sound but the ticking of a clock. With each tick, Virgil's breath turned shallower, his heartbeat faster. His father just looked at him, waiting for a reaction that Virgil was trying his best to suppress.

Finally, he got up and Virgil could breathe again. Oh, but if anyone told his mouth the danger left.

"You didn't raise me"

His dad stopped his grumbling and looked back at him. "What did you say?"

Tick. Tick. Tick.

A rough hand on his shoulder turning him around, a voice yelling at him.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Bloody fingers on his cheek. Chair scraping.

Tick.

Air. Shit, he needed to breathe. C'mon Virgil in and out.

Table, chair, notebook, jacket, glass

"Oh, no, you're not getting away that easy. You cannot – will not avoid this, Virgil. Virgil!"

Jeans, page, wall, hoodie

"Virgil, I swear to God, if you're faking this-"

Breathing, clock, dad

Alcohol, cologne

Blood

Breathe.

.

After the world became less unbearable, Virgil opened his eyes. He was exhausted and luckily, his dad left halfway through the almost-a-panic-attack, so he could go to the bathroom unbothered.

His feet seemed heavy as bricks as he dragged them across the room. The first thing he looked at was the mirror. Thank God, his dad didn't leave any bruises, just the blood on his face that wasn't his. He soaked a nearby towel in luke-warm water and wiped it off, layer by layer. As some of it already dried out, it was painful to scrape off.

He shuffled to his room, took off his shoes and threw himself on the bed, the latter making a small whine at the sudden weight. The moment his head collided with the pillow, he fell in a deep slumber, not even bothering to take off his clothes.

.

 _-her all my things_

 _And bury me in all my favorite colors_

"Aarg- wuh?" He raised his head from the soft, _soft_ pillow and craned his neck to where the sound was coming from.

 _My sisters and my brothers, still_

 _I will not kiss you_

He got up and lazily searched for his phone with his right arm, still not opening his eyes. His hand felt something thin and pulled it to his ear. He returned it when he saw it was a notebook.

 _'Cause I'm awful just to see_

 _And all my hairs abandoned all my bo-_

"Hello?" He picked up his phone on the second try.

"-o, Logan, would you sto – Virgil?! Oh, thank – Roman! ROMAN! He answered!" Virgil pulled

his ear away from the speakerphone

"Patton? What?"

"Where are you? The play's almost starting"

He tiredly rubbed his eyes as he stifled a yawn. "Play?"

"Yes, play! The play Roman's been talking about for days" His voice got quieter "You didn't forget did you?"

…Shit

"Wha- no, Patton, I would never forget that" He flew off the bed and started putting his boots on,

hopping to his jacket. "I'm just gonna be a little late, but I will be there." He ran to his door, picking up the keys on the way.

"Okay, but please hurry, Roman's starting to feel the pre-show nerves and we're not sure if he can handle this pressure. It's the biggest show he's ever done"

"Patton, I'm running as we speak, I'll be there in five. And if you're looking for someone to calm Princey's nerves, you really shouldn't be talking to me. If anything I'll just make it worse."

Virgil slipped out of the elevator doors, not waiting for them to open completely and rushed across the stairs, taking two by two.

"No, you wouldn't-" Muffled yelling could be heard from the other side, "I have to go. Hurry!

But, be careful!"

Thankfully, Virgil lived close to the theatre, so it only took him about 5 minutes to get there. He got to the main entrance but was pulled towards the side one by Logan, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Where have you been? Patton was worried about you, and Roman was figuratively losing his mind."

"'Losing his mind'? Roman's been teaching you phrases, huh?" He cocked an eyebrow at the other man who's grip on his wrist was starting to hurt.

"Is that not the correct usage? I did use the word 'figuratively' to imply that Roman wasn't literally losing his mind"

"No, no you got it right" Virgil reassured as Logan pulled him through long hallways that led to the actors' personal rooms. The names were even written on the doors in a very professional way. And, of course, Roman's had glitter on it.

Inside the room was in no way professional, though. There were scarves tossed around, wigs had their entire part of the room, there were clothes all over the floor and the smell of perfume was suffocating.

"Oh, Jesus," He coughed and opened the door again so the smell would wind out.

"Virgil! You came!" Roman stopped pacing as Patton got up from his chair to greet him.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world. Just overslept a bit." He scratched his neck, feeling

uncomfortable as the attention in the room slipped to him.

"Overslept? It is five in the afternoon, why were you even sleeping this late?" Logan asked from behind him but Virgil brushed him off with a wave of a hand.

He approached Roman who sat down during their chat and was now looking at himself through the mirror. His hands were shaking.

Virgil put his hand on his shoulder in a barely-there manner and put more weight into it when Roman didn't shrug it off. "You've got this, dude. You've been practicing for months now and you've got all the lines memorized to a T"

"Well, yes I know that but what if something happens?" He turned his head to look directly at Virgil, "What if something terrible happens out there, like I slip on something, or my mind blinks out and I forget my lines, or what if some of the props backfire and I end up embarrassed in front of the whole audience, or –"

"Okay, Jesus, Roman I thought I was the anxious one in this friend group" Roman was still panting, he must have been pretty nervous not to even pretend he was okay. "I'm gonna be honest with you, all of that could happen. The crowd could also start booing you if you make a mistake, your coworkers could forget their lines, mess up the lights, curtains and the whole play could end up being a disaster"

"Virgil!", "I do not see how this could be beneficial for his current state" Patton and Logan talked over each other, but Virgil couldn't have cared less at that moment. Roman was still staring at him with scared eyes and that was the only thing he saw.

"All of that and more could happen. So what? Would you really let that one stupid line, prop, light or whatever, stop you from doing the thing that you love? Would it stop you from giving all you got, pouring your heart and soul into the performance and the character you must have grown to love over the months? So you know what you're gonna do now," He turned Roman back to the mirror and bent down so their eyes could meet. "You're going to get up, get on that stage and give everything you got into every word and every expression you make. And if something happens, so be it! You're gonna take it like a champ and face that audience like it was all a part of the show"

Roman's eyes hardened and he gave a nod to him, determination hanging in his every move.

"You're right." He kept nodding to himself, "You're right" He muttered again and got up, his knees not buckling even a little.

Before he got out of the room, he turned around to look at everyone again, pausing at Virgil

"Thank you" he mouthed.

"No problem" Virgil mouthed back, but quickly called him back before he walked away. Roman stopped in his track and turned back to him.

"You got this"

A genuine smile spreads across his face and Virgil could have sworn, no matter how cliché it sounded, his heart skipped a beat.

.

The play was amazing. Roman was amazing.

He listened, brought the best out of the 18th-century monarch he was playing and poured character into him. And there really was an accident during the performance, two characters spoke over each other, but Roman dragged the plot away from it, making sure no awkwardness ensued and he carried it out to the end.

He left the audience in a trans that lasted long after the final bow. Patton, Logan and Virgil after the show found themselves in the middle of a crowd of excitedly chattering teenagers all discussing parts of the performance. They grew immersed in every individual conversation, especially because half of them were talking about the 'hot lead'.

"I DID IT" The crowd slowly dissipated as Roman appeared in front of them in normal civilian clothes. He was grinning, ear to ear, and was positively bursting with energy. He got a few weird looks as he ran to them, pushing through a group of people.

He ran straight into Virgil, picking him up and twirling him around all the while laughing with absolute glee. His happiness was contagious, and Virgil found himself trying to contain his own smile. Once Roman put him down, feelings bubbled deep inside Virgil, ones he pushed down again.

Roman grabbed him by the shoulders and looked straight into his eyes.

"Thank you" The words were spoken in a whisper, giving a sense of secrecy to the whole situation even though there were a dozen of people around them.

"Always" Virgil couldn't help but whisper back. It surprised him how much he actually meant it. How much he cares for him. It was then he realized their faces were inches away and they have been staring at each other for far longer than necessary.

He cleared his throat and looked to the ground, hiding his forming blush. Roman took a step back and stammered out an apology before Patton tackled him in a hug. Virgil raised his gaze to Logan who was giving him a weird look which he decided to ignore. He'll deal with it later. Or never. Yeah, never's better.

After Patton hugged the hell out of him, Logan congratulated him with a pat on his shoulder.

"So, where to now?"

"Somewhere where they serve food, I'm starving."

"Patton, you just ate a large tub of popcorn. And then you stole mine as well"

"I didn't _steal_ it, you said you weren't hungry!"

As the two continued to bicker all the way to the restaurant, Virgil noticed Roman looking anywhere but him and he got a feeling that something between them changed.


End file.
